So today Amelia and I went to the post office to renew her passport. For a minor you have to do this every 5 years since they change so much as opposed to adults who only have to renew theirs every 10 and they can do it by mail rather than in person at the post office. Equipped with filled out renewal application, expired passport, other sundry papers that I might be asked for we went off to our appointment at our local branch of the post office. We waited in line for our turn and then waited for a passport official to help us. I handed over the application and was met with:
“Where’s the father?”
“The father?”
“Yes, where’s the child’s father. He has to sign this.”
“It’s a renewal, not a new application.”
“He has to be here to sign.”
“I have full physical custody of my child. Why does he have to be here?”
“Do you have the court papers? Then you have to fill out and get this notarized for his approval for your application.”
“But this is a renewal. We did this when we first applied. Why do I need it for a renewal? I know that there are parents that try to abscond with a child, but this is a renewal – he had to give permission to get the first one!”
“These are official rules, not mine.”
“I understand they are official rules, but there was nothing on the government website that suggested that I would have to go through all this again for a renewal. I know that there are parents that take a child out of the country without the other parent’s permission, but this is a renewal! Come on Amelia, we have to go.”
Amelia, “what about my passport?”
“We don’t get to do that today.”
Amelia, “Why not?”
“We have to get his approval on paper.”
Amelia, “But what if he won’t let me? What if he won’t let me get a passport?”
“I’m sure he will. He let you have one the first time you got one. But we might not get to go up into Canada when we take our summer holiday.”
Amelia, bursting into tears, “But I want to go to Canada!”
“I know.” Now I cry, too, but mine are not just for her disappointment, but for other things as well. Why do these tings have to be so hard and WHY does it feel like I have to include Amelia’s father in every little thing? He made his choice to not be fully part of my life, or her life, so why should we have to include him in these things? Sigh.
So, we left the post office and I got her to art camp where she will, in her imagination, get to go somewhere exotic and explore the art there. In reality she may not get to go to the wild and exotic place of Canada, but having made a new appointment for Friday at a post office branch close to where her father lives and made sure that he can (and will) physically be there to fill in his section of the renewal application I can hope that expediting the process will help in making a real trip a reality.
You know, sometimes being an adult isn’t all that great.
Wendy's Tale this Side of Neverland 